choke on it you little bitch

Dont youhate when someone has the audacity to act as though they are your saviour when you were fine doing things for yourself!!! This chick acts as though because she gives me a ride to the train station that she is the shit!!!GRRRRR!!!! She doesnt think about the cd's I burn for her all the time. Its not only for her but mom father and husband. the funny thing is her husband is a IT guy. Fucking stop being a chicken shit and do it for your self you little bitch. You act as though you are really saving me from harm...Wtf!!! You need to get off the high horse before you fall off and crack your skull!!! I am so angry!!!

warped puddin

Man I feel like I was just sent through a warp engine, and was shot out into space. I have cleared the hurtle of 72 hours of no sleep with plenty to go. I dont know if it is plain insomnia or this damn job. Smoking is my only saviour now. It is keeping me stable as I sit here at my desk. My brain feels like the crumbs from the point of a pencil that has just broken off. I hope I can lay down at least a little before I head into my second gig. No rest for the wery you know!!

look-out !!! Incoming!!!!

besides me being tired it has been one of those days. To make it short....I might have to find another place to live. It has been hard as hell for me today I just wish I could switch the valve on and relieve the pressure.

still standing

Man its the fourth day working and Ill tell you I am beat..but I am still standing...today I have not had sleep for 30 hours..I have to go back in tonight..but im still standing..Couple of times I nodded off really quick , but hey im still standing and strong. However I hope that I get some sleep tonight know what I mean?

Work til you die

Here is a little rant I have going on in my mind. Let me fill in the back story for ya first.... Wifey and I decided that we need to take a step forward and own a little piece of property to call our own and to stop giving dough to landlords and such...

So I decided fine imma get a second job. When friends, family, and co-workers heard this they went into a full level 8 panic telling me that I cant do it and it is stupid. Some other things that were said, you are crazy, you have a death wish and so forth. I ignored everyone because my wonderful wife is backing me and saying she believes in me to be able to handle the second job.

Well at this point I have the second job at a retail chain that is the largest in the world. And also forces vendors to drop their prices so low that they dont rally make anything to survive. Anyways I work the 3rd shift 10-7 and then I go to my primary jkob which is from 9-6. Now mix in my bus trips which take an hour. So you have 2 hours sleep everyday. Now I try to get rides home every once and a while and I might gtain an hour or two if I go straight to sleep.

People treat me like I am an idiot , by saying you need sleep and yada yada yada. Everyday I come into my second job I am lecture by about 5 people saying the traditional things said previously.

Do you know how mad it makes me to hear the same crap everyday? People dont understand that me as a father have to do everything to be sure that my family has the best. No my wife doesn't work if you are asking, but I know she does a damn good job at taking care of my rugrats and making sure the house is clean as well as cooking.

We both have stresses to deal with, and there are few people who understand that. You have to make sacrifices to gain.Am I willing to sacrifice my life for my family? Short answer? yes!!! I would do anything in the world to make sure everything was right for them.

Some people see how much I make and decide my bills and savings for me. These people who are doing this are those that haven't any kids. Their main goal is to take care of themselves. One co-worker lives with his girlfriend and her family. If she boots him thenhe'll go to his moms . what a plush life this guy has. He makes more than me and is always complaing about how broke he is. I told him speak to me when you only have two bucks in the bank and he has to feed his family or worry about how to get to work the next day and what not. Talk to me when bills are due and you have to pay the one that is about to get shut off and leave the rest for the next rotation.

People seem to have all the answers but would never get anywhere with that info. It is basically like this with me...by any means necessary!!! I will fight and do the things I need to get us to the next level. this is what being a father husband and man is about!!! Have I gotten it all wrong? cause if I do please some help me correct everything at this point.

Currently my credit situation is very very poor. so I guess the first I dea of getting a nicer housr and out of the ghetto is nothing but a pipe dream. Real fact is that I will go with the second option. My pastor is giving us a house that needs a tremendous work and the taxes equal about 46,000. Now in order for me to get anything done I must work this second grueling job that I dont get any sleep. Beleive me it sucks but I have to do it.

Now the next brilliant idea is they say ask the company for cash, that is pretty dumb cause my dad is the president and I know my dad. I love my father and he is a great man, but I refuse to ask him for anything. He knows my plight and chooses to turn his head the other directions. People take for granted that parents are there, are not supposed to be there when you have a family. It is your turn to carry-on with out them. yes I think they should help you when they can and when they think you really need it, but my parents are kinda of backwards : they think they should only help the weak and not the strong , because they feel the strong will be able to handle it and pull through. Well I respect that but have no plans for my kids to go through the same thing that I did. When they need help as adults I will help as long as im not 6 feet under.

Anyways I am getting tired and will read this tommorrow and say what was I trying to say? Need to get some sleep bye for now~

off the wall like with a little bit of pb&j

Damn... my first girlfriend wrote me a few weeks ago and blew mw away. I have to keep my ass off the internet. I mean I have to get my ass off of classmates or something. It seems like that whole thirty something thing is starting to creep up and bite my ass.

Anyways she basically tells me she apologize for not backing me up when we had this head on collision with her parents not liking me and so forth. The way I see it it was her loss completely. She was the one being molested by her step father. She was at the one who chose to go back to the house where she being taking advantage of. There is no reasons for a sorry to me at all. I mean it was years ago, like17 years ago or something. Please like I really want that shit brought back up.

My life is already confusing enough with me trying to take care of my family you know? She tells me in so many words that she still loves me. Well you know what I did right? Cut that shit off at the neck!!! I dont need no psycho bull these days in my life. I have been through enough psycho broads for a life time. Dont need any more drama. I am trying my best to get this life over with and on to the next if there is such a thing. Anyways had to vent that and move on to the next agenda. Peace.