falling so fast

Just a quick peek-a-boo ... I haven't been in for a few days and I just wanted to up date everyone with my whole transformation thing. I can say that at this point I am going through some rough waters.

Let's put it this way..If I had a gun I probably would of put one in py dome, the funny thing is that I am too afraid to die. Not too physically die but the whole what happens when you die. I guess I am not ready cause the whole light thing petrifies me.

You are always hurt by the ones you love. They make it the hardest on you. Cause they know you and should understand you but they either dont care or they want to hurt you. Anyways hurt is pain and pain should not come from people in your life. That's all I will say. As you can see it is not that easy going back to the place you first started. There is a reason why you are where you are in your l ife . Something got you there. And for me it was plain hurt. So unravelling all the hurt is hard especially when it is coming back again in the same form you remember it. Anyways I am not giving up and I thank god that I am here another day. It was so nice out today very pleasant weather 58 degrees and partly cloudy. I thank god for the weather too. Well see you soon....bye